I don't know if you read but in a previous post I mentioned that I am having surgery on Friday. I have never been more nervous about anything in my entire life. I am not sure why though, I've had major surgery before, many times in fact, but for some reason this surgery seems scary.
Maybe it's the threat of cancer. Maybe it's because I've lost some friends lately that makes death seem more real. I'm not sure. I am terrified that I won't be around to help raise Will, to give him kisses and tell him how amazing he is and how he can do anything. I am afraid that others can't love him the way I do. I know that is ridiculous. I know that I have amazing people around me that would take care of Will. I know that I have an amazing husband who would tell Will how crazy his mommy was, how she would spontaneously dance around the house and that she loved to play with dolls. I know that Stephen would raise Will to be the man I know he can be. I just am afraid I'll miss it.
I know that I need to get rid of this lump in my neck, I know that I'll be fine and that the surgery will go well. Luckily the Lord has promised me that.
I am PMS-ing, I have hormones flying EVERYWHERE. I just can't wait for Saturday.
Good luck with surgery! Let us know what we can do to help!
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