The Kindness of Others

I can hardly keep back the tears of gratitude as I write this. Last weekend we moved. I was really worried, not that I should have been, that it would take all day and we (and I mean Stephen because I really am unable to do anything to help other then say put that there) would be totally wiped by the end of the day.

Wow, was I wrong. Not about me being useless, but about the move. It was all done in about 2 hours. Our neighbors came out in droves to help. My next-store neighbor whisked Will away to her house before I could even protest and her husband spear-headed the group to empty our apartment within minutes. I wanted to take pictures but it was done before I could even get my camera out.

Our neighbors are so amazing they even followed us to our new place and helped unload.

By 11:00 we were all unloaded and started to unpack. At 1:00 my brother and cousins came by and helped Stephen set up our bed and Will's bunk-beds. We did end the day exhausted but because of unpacking not because of loading and unloading.

Because I am injured and useless I made sure to overlap our move-in and move-out days by a week. Stephen has been going over every night to collect the rest of our things and clean a little. Tonight he went over to get a few things only to discover that our incredible neighbor had boxed up the rest of our things and moved them out into the living room.

I am still speechless. I'm finding it hard to express how grateful I am for our neighbors and friends. I could not ask for a better support system. Of all the things I will miss about Wymount, they are number one. Nowhere else will we ever have a support system like that.

Thank you, thank you, thank you is all that I can say.

How Old is He? TWO!

Today is a special day, today my baby turned 2! I can't believe it. Where did those 2 years go? I blinked and they were gone. I can't quit rap my mind around my new 2 year-old.

It feels like just yesterday I was laying in the hospital marveling at this little body that I had just given birth to.

Then I blinked and he turned 1.

An now I've blinked again...darn I really need to stop doing that...and he's two.

 I feel bad because we are still in the moving process and I really don't know where anything is so this birthday has been a little lame. Good thing Will won't remember.

When we moved in the land lord had left a treadmill in one of the rooms. He asked us to move it out to the living room so he could come get it. Will has taken to sitting on the treadmill base while watching Thomas. Of course his "blanks" have to come too.

After Stephen got home from school we headed to the duck pond to "celebrate".

Stephen was the photographer this time because of my stupid arm. I really like his take on taking pictures.

Will has the funniest run. We took some great video of him running around the duck pond. As soon as I figure out how to shrink it I'll post it.

We went to the Creamery for dinner to get one of Will's favorites, fries and corn-dogs. We got celebratory ice cream instead of cake because Will likes ice cream better.
Wills' 2 candles! Oh my, he's growing up!

He really enjoyed his ice cream.

Happy Birthday my little prince charming boy!

Today I Learned An Important Lesson

Today I learned an important lesson. A lesson about hope and trusting the answers I get from Heavenly Father.

You see the start of this semester has been tricky. We didn't receive any federal financial aid for Stephen's schooling so we had to apply to an outside school loan company to receive aid and it's taken longer then anyone could have expected.

Luckily we had enough in our savings account to pay for this semester of Stephen's tuition. But it hasn't left us with ANY buffer. We are down to pennies left in our name, well to be more accurate a penny. That was OK though, because the financial aid was expected to get here by yesterday so we would have enough money to rent a moving truck and to pay bills that are due.

But as with most financial aid, it did not come when expected...

Also, as I mentioned in previous posts, we are moving...TOMORROW!

So this morning I did what I always do when I need guidance, I got down on my knees and prayed. While I was pleading with the Lord to help me figure out how we were supposed to find enough money to move tomorrow, I got the most overwhelming sense of peace and understanding that everything would be alright, we would have the money to move.

I ended my prayer and started to move through my day with calm. But as the hours moved on, and as Stephen's different endeavors to get the money through other means got more and more desperate, I got more and more concerned that we wouldn't have the money in time.

I started to pray again, more frantically this time, that somehow, some way, we would find the money to move tomorrow. I was gently reminded by the Spirit that I had already gotten an answer and to trust that answer and to have hope.

I ended my prayer and again continued on my day with peace.

A few hours later, Stephen called me to say that the only way we would have the money to move was if we got the financial aid today and that it wasn't likely to come today.

I immediately panicked but then I remembered the answer I had received earlier in the day and then again a few hours previous. I knew we would have the money to move tomorrow. I just had to hope.

Just a few minutes ago Stephen called me to say, that against the odds, our financial aid came today! I immediately started to cry and said a prayer of thanks.

...

Now, this may seem like a small incidence but it taught me an important lesson. A lesson I think the Lord has been trying to teach for awhile now. 

As you know, I have had struggles with fertility and miscarriages for almost 2 years now. You may not know, though, that the Lord has promised me many times that I will bear more children in this life but that I needed to trust and hope in His timing.

And to be completely honest, I have been lagging in the hope department lately. I have been feeling discouraged by the lack of results, i.e. not getting pregnant. 

Stephen, however, has had hope for the both of us. He constantly reminds me of the Lord's promises and the necessity of having hope as we experience this trial.

Today, I have learned that lesson. The need to have hope in trials. The need to listen and trust in answers to prayer.

I guess it's better late then never, right? Maybe I needed a smaller scope example, like when you take a test, if you didn't do the quizzes and homework, the test will be impossible. I needed this smaller trial to understand what I needed to know for a bigger trial.

So today I can rejoice that something finally penetrated this thick skull of mine.

My New Fashion Accessory

So a few weeks ago I noticed my right shoulder hurt really bad whenever I moved it. I thought that maybe I'd slept on it wrong and went on with my day. A few days later I realized it wasn't getting any better and I went to the doctor.

After a quick examination, the doctor thought that maybe I had done something to my collarbone or maybe even my shoulder and ordered an x-ray. To my surprise I had a fracture in the middle of my clavicle or collarbone.

*Just a quick note. I LOVE my doctor! Anyone in Provo/Orem area looking for a family practice doctor, Dr. Jeremy Hadley is the best! That's saying something too because I've been to a LOT of doctors in my time.

Anyway, the doctor gave me a sling and told me I needed to wear it for 4 weeks and that I shouldn't move my shoulder.

The next few days I noticed that my hand was going numb and that the numbness was slowly creeping up my arm. After a chat with my doctor, he decided to send me to a specialist. We went to see an orthopedic surgeon and he took another x-ray. It turns out I have 2 fractures on my collarbone, one right in the middle and another at the very tip. He was concerned that the one at the end could potentially get worse and if I'm not careful, the tip of my collarbone could crack off and they would need to go in and fix it...yeah, hopefully that doesn't happen.

He also found that my neck is straight. I guess normal necks have a gentle curve in them but mine doesn't. He said that could be causing my headaches and the numbness in my arm.

Now you may be asking, how in heavens name did I break my collarbone? Well, that's a long story. You see I've been having trouble fainting lately. I have low blood sugar and for some reason when I get super stressed, I faint. I fainted the day before I began to feel the pain in my shoulder and we figure that's how it happened. 

So here is my new fashion accessory...

P.S. I hate it!

We've Been Busy, Busy, Busy...Like Really Big Bees

September is flying by me at warp speed. Next week Will will turn 2, can you believe it? I can't. 

In other news we are moving next week. Yeah, I didn't think we would leave our little Wymount apartment until Stephen graduated either, and no, he's not done with school. Wymount is kicking us out. Not because we did anything naughty but because Stephen is only going part-time at school this semester. Wymount only allows full-time BYU students to live there. There is an apeal process, which we've tried but unfortunately it's our time to go.

We've found a nice apartment, actually the main floor of a house south of campus that will be closer for Stephen to get to school. It has lots of space, 2 beds, 2 baths, and a backyard! Stephen's favorite part of the new place is the dishwasher and washer/dryer. I'm excited for the study that we're going to use as a craft/sewing room! Will is just excited to have more room to play and run around. 

We're so sad to leave our little part of Wymount. We will miss our neighbors, the playground right outside our door, and our church ward.

With our moving, Stephen's school, my broken clavicle (collarbone), and Will's constant existence we've been ridiculously busy. And when we're ridiculously busy this is what Will ends up looking like...

 He pulled the monkey hat and the driving toy out of a box. At least it entertained him for a good 20 minutes.

 Pants, who needs pants! Especially when you're almost 2!

 My favorite boys!

Stephen has been a trooper doing almost all the packing because I seem to hurt myself at the most inconvenient time...

I love this guy!

Why?

Sometimes I wonder why life is so hard. 

Why everything I do feels like such a tremendous amount of emotional and physical energy is needed to accomplish it. 

Why making ends meet is so difficult.

Why having babies is so arduous.

Why making sure the house is clean and dinner is done is so tricky.

Why I can't seem to keep myself healthy or uninjured...p.s. I broke my clavicle a few weeks ago and now I have to wear a sling for the next 4 weeks.

Why Stephen has to spend so much time taking care of Will and me that he doesn't have time for school.

Why I feel like I never have enough energy to play with Will like I know he deserves.

Why no matter how many times I tell myself I am enough, I just can't seem to believe it.

Then I remember why I came to this earth, to be tried and tested, to learn and grow, to become the best self I can. I chose this life, I chose to come to this earth, I knew what I was getting into before I came. I remember that I knew the blessings would far outweigh the trials. 

Then I ask, why am I dwelling on what is wrong in my life and not what is right?

 Why no matter how many times I make a budget and can't make the numbers match up, as long as I pay my tithing, somehow we always have enough.

Why I have have the most breathtakingly handsome son who loves me no matter if I play with him on the couch or on the floor.

Why I have a house to worry about and food to make into dinner.

Why no matter how many health issues I have, I'm still here, I still have all my limbs, my sight, and my hearing.

Why I have a husband that is so devoted to his family that he is willing to put us first, no matter the detriment to himself.

Why I know Will will be ok, even if I can't run after him everyday.

Why I have a husband who tells me everyday that I AM enough, that he knows it, even if I don't.

Then I remember that the blessing do outweigh the trials, always. Sometimes you just have to hunt more for the blessings.

"Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven...Trust God and believe in good things to come."
-Jeffery R. Holland